Choosing Gratitude in Adversity
“If the only prayer you said was “thank you,” that would be enough.”
Have you ever walked through a season when nearly everything felt painful?
That’s how it felt walking with my dad through his cancer journey. From his diagnosis until his passing only three and a half months later, everything felt hard. There were days when I only had tears. Still other days when I simply had to scream. Nobody asks for seasons like that, but they happen to almost everyone.
Last week as we celebrated Thanksgiving with family in Kansas City, I was reminded of that Thanksgiving four years ago when we first learned of my dad’s diagnosis.
Our whole family, my parents included, had planned to travel to Scotland to celebrate the holiday with our daughter who was attending university there. The shocking news meant my parents would have to stay behind, working with my dad’s new team of doctors, to come up with a treatment plan. Suddenly, the trip we’d all looked forward to, following the easing of COVID restrictions, didn’t feel joyous at all. It felt like going through the motions while trying not to succumb to the ominous cloud looming on the horizon.
1 Thessalonians 5:18 tells us to “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” I’m not gonna lie. That can be really hard sometimes.
And yet, looking back at my dad’s journey, even in light of the fact that the cancer ultimately took his life, there is much I am thankful for. We experienced miracles, little and big, throughout those months—tender moments and answered prayers.
I recently read a book by an Israeli hostage who survived 491 days in the bowels of Gaza. When faced with the worst kind of physical and emotional stress imaginable, how does a person find the strength to survive? His story is both harrowing and heartbreaking, but one part really stood out to me.
Eli Sharabi had no idea if his family had survived the brutal attack on their kibbutz, and he didn’t know how long he would be held underground or if he would even survive. In the midst of malnutrition, disorientation, beatings, deplorable hygiene conditions, and near-constant psychological abuse, Sharabi implores his fellow captives, “Come on, let’s think of something good that happened today, just one thing.”
At first gratitude was difficult. Some days were more challenging than others, but as they expressed gratitude for small things like drinking tea, the practice got easier. Sharabi writes, “Slowly, this routine begins to affect our whole day. We find ourselves searching for the good things for which we can express gratitude in the evening.”
What a powerful change of perspective. Not easy, but powerful.
This brought to mind Corrie Ten Boom’s famous story of her sister Betsie insisting that they thank God for the fleas that infested their barracks in Ravensbrück concentration camp. Corrie resisted this idea at first, but finally agreed to join Betsie in her prayers of Thanksgiving. Eventually, they realized it was the fleas that kept the Nazi officers out of the barracks, allowing them to pray, preach, and worship freely. And so we see that God really can use all things for good!
There is something deep at work here, and I think Philippians 4 gives an important clue:
Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. (Phil 4:4-9)
Gratitude is inextricably tied to peace. As we pray “with thanksgiving” we receive the “peace of God.”
The Apostle Paul reminds us to keep our focus on those things that are good. This isn’t suggesting we live in denial of suffering, but rather, by tuning our hearts with gratitude— recognizing and giving thanks for even the smallest blessings—our hearts are opened to receive peace “which transcends all understanding.” For that I am thankful!
Friends, as we walk through this Advent season, I pray your hearts, moved with gratitude, will receive an abundance of God’s glorious peace.
‘Sometimes healing comes by waving the white flag of surrender when everyone else is telling you to stay in the fight.’
